Rule # 572: Be Careful How You Cook, You Might End Up Breakdancing (Part 2)

Ok...so, continuing (Whew!)

Here's whats on the agenda in this entry:

The Toilet Story
My roomate sleeping
Nanta (a fantastic cooking performance)
Cooking Class
Breakdance Class
A midnight Hike
Extra Pictures: Korean McDonalds, Halli Galli, Final Orientation Pic

I shall now commence...The Toilet Story



Let me tell you a tale. A tale of electric toilets, and the kind of damage they can do. Have you ever heard the saying, "Its 10 o'clock, do you know where your children are?". Well, before you looking anywhere else, I'd bet money on the fact that chances are an electric toilet is involved.

Or maybe not. I don't know. All I'm saying is don't rule the option out. Anyway, lets get on with the story.

It was a dark and stormy night. The infamous Red Baron was in the air, swooping and swirling through the night sky with the Pink Baron by his side, Things were looking grim for the WWII Flying Ace; my entire fleet was slowing diminishing. One by one our planes were being torn to shreds, swirling downward in a ball of fire. The enemies' deadly accuracy, lightning speed, and powerful weaponry was simply to much. As I watched the firey chaos rave throughout the night, I realized something.

I had to poop. Bad.

No longer thinking about Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the Red Baron, I regained a better sense of my surroundings. I was in the Government sector of Ghanghwahmun, and did not see a bathroom in sight. i headed to the Korean Immigration building across the street in my search, only to be redirected towards the jazz building I had found earlier that day. Why hadn't I thought of that earlier? There was no time to debate the issue, time was of the essence.
I raced to the jazz cafe, asked the cashier "Bathroom eodi se ye?" (which of course means "Where is the bathroom" in Korean). He pointed towards the back, and I was gone before he could say onomatopoeia. I identify the men's bathroom at lightning speed, enter and go to the stall. I stop dead in my tracks. This is what I see:




Now, being that the remote control is entirely in Korean, I know not what such a toilet is capable of. However, with my curiosity raised, I begin to press the button much as a monkey pushes the keys of a typewriter for the first time before he and his buddies write the full works of Shakespeare; with caution and a sense of purpose.

Nothing was happening. The toilet remained still, unafflicted by my attempts to alter its mood. Realizing that I had no time for such triviality, I got down to business.

*CENSORED*

Unfortunately that last part was censored by Blogger.com. I apologize for that, but there are strict rules here on what I can and cannot say. Nevertheless, it is the next part of the story that is most important, because that is where it all goes haywire. Curiosity got the best of me I guess. After all, they say that curiosity killed the cat. personally I think it may have been an electric toilet.

Looking at the remote control, I begin my cautious experimentation. I am definitely in a more vulnerable state now, but think to myself I need to be adventurous. I am in Korea after all...Live Life!

I push the first button...nothing.

Second...nothing.

Third?

Nothing...

4th?

The toilet makes the sound of a large beast being awoken from a deep slumber. WHOOSH! A gust of wind comes from deep within, powerful and purposeful, drying my derriere before it had could say any more.

Mildly unprepared, I nearly fell off the seat. Yet I hung on. There was more to be done.
The next button turned off the wind power. Excellent.

That wasn't too bad. I wondered, "What other tricks does this bad boy have? Maybe I can shift this puppy into 3rd gear and not have to worry about takin' the bus home tonight?"

So I tried the next button.

Big mistake.

For those of you who are treehuggers, I know you will agree when I say that water is our friend. It hydrates us, nourishes our plants, and ultimately is essential for sustaining all life on earth. But today, it was not my friend.

I hear the sound of a mechanical, robotic object emerging from somewhere. I am nervous. Toilets should not make those sounds. Not even mech...

It was too late. Not 2 seconds later, the toilet panics. Being scared, it reverts to its natural protective instincts and let loose its defensive mechanism, much as a skunk lets loose it smell. It begins with a trickle, and then all of a sudden it hits you. A powerful jet stream of water is fired into my bum, launching me off the seat before I anything to say. Water is spewing from the toilet, spraying all over the toilet, my clothes, backpack, the stall door and lastly myself. The stream continued seemingly indefinitely, as it was waiting for me to tell it what its next move should be.

Had anyone seen what was going on in that stall they would have thought a wild battle with a bull was ensuing inside, and that I was just barely hanging on. Water was spritzing everywhere and I was soaked. I dived for the off button but I could not find it, everything being in Korean. It took me 4 - 5 attempts before I found it, causing major disaster along the way. Wind was blowing, water was spritzing and the toilet was howling.

But it was done. I was not going to push anymore buttons. Drenched, and not knowing what to do, I start to laugh. It was the only thing left to do. It was safe, as the toilet had calmed down. Looking around, I did not know how I would get out of this predicament, but I didn't care. I headed toward the automated hand dryer to begin to dry, and then thought twice. I would use paper towels today, no more automated devices for me.

I have learned this through experience my friends. Learn from my mistakes.

Now, back to the present.

So, I last left off on the train on my way back from Seoul. I get back to my room and my roomates (I will be living alone once I begin teaching) are sleeping. I feel it is vital to show you what I saw that night. I simply had to take a picture.

I arrive in my room to hear heavy snoring, and this. I have never seen something like this before; I have seen people always on their computer, but he was fast asleep with his head literally in the computer, almost wearing it like a hat. The computer was completely on, in a dark room, right in his face.

What a guy.

On another note, I uploaded a clip of a fantastic theatrical performance that the entire TaLK program was taken to. Similar to a performance on Broadway, this Japanese performance is called Nanta. Here an internationally acclaimed japanese performance called Nanta.

Nanta is a cooking performance that combines, singing, dancing, humor and percussive (sort of like a cooking blueman group). It was a fantastic performance that was interactive, as the audience was involved in much of their performance (audience members were pulled up, we provided beats, singing, clapping, etc., led by the perfomers).

Here's a clip of it:

Next up was a cooking class that we took. We made Bugogi, a combination of steak, mushrooms, onions, and a few other things. Unfortunately, when I say cooking it meant that everything was pretty much cut up and prepared for us, and all we had to do was put it in a pan and watch it sizzle deliciously. Oh well, it was delicious.

Here's a clip and picture of where we started and what it turned into:

Now, to what I mentioned in my last entry. BREAKDANCING!

So after my long night in Seoul, I wake up for my night o'clock class pretty pooped. I did not think that I would be rockin' the six-step, baby freeze, hand stands, etc. in a matter of minutes. Little did I know that I was about to be whipped into shape by "The King of B-Boys".

The picture below is my attempt at the six step. The man in red was our teacher, and the guy in blue with long hair was his assistant and translator. I'll be honest, I don't remember the last time I worked so hard . But, I liked the class so much that I went again later in the afternoon. I will be practicing more on my own as I thought it was absolutely awesome. I am working on have obtaining a video of my attempts at breakdancing, so when I get it I will post it up.

Finally, after all these classes, one of my friends and I decided to explore the wilderness a bit. At night. Specifically midnight. I have no idea why, but we decided, what the hey, right?

Here are some clips of that:

Bottom left is the journey we took (about an hour and a half), and bottom right is some crazy steam from the cold along with some intense rock piles we found. Also, a beautifully formed tree is nearby.

Additionally, being that it was night, there were many beautiful lights illuminating from the entire city of Yongin. Unfortunately my camera was unable to capture it.

These last few below is me at a Korean Mcdonalds, and just a few of the great people that I've met during Orientation. The last two one below is of a great card game called Halli Galli that we played with one of our coordinators. Turns out she can also dance salsa!

Rule #571: Never Use a Toilet that has a Remote Control Attached, Part 1

Hello again! Annyeung Haseo!

My apologies for taking so long on this entry, it has been quite an adventure thus far. I started out in Seoul, made my way to the Hynix Learning Center in Yongin, and am now currently located in the Gyeungnam Province. However, since I didn't write enough about Yongin, I'm going to backtrack a bit. I'll begin with where I left off.

My last adventure in Seoul moved me from the figuritive Square 1 to Square 2, in what I like to call the "cultural square maze" of Korea. While this maze is comprised of thousands upon thousands of other squares (and other shapes I'm sure), this step is essential in the process of becoming better acclimated to Korean society. How did I get to the elusive square 2? It wasn't easy. It involved being yelled at on the bus for being too loud (Koreans are known to be extremely blunt when it comes to foreigners), going to a Nore Bang (Karoake Bar), and ultimately what I will address at the in my next entry; my wonderful experience with the remote controlled toilet.

Up until this past Saturday (Feb. 21st) I was stationed in Yongin, where I took classes that providing strategies, ideas, methods, etc. We had teachers perform sample lectures that involved magic, singing, dancing, and just old fashioned powerpoint (could have done without that though). Here's a glimpse into one of our classes (with some additional laughter):




As great as these classes are, that's really not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about the mucho sexiness that exists in Korea that I must discover. So lets begin our journey.

First things first. I have experienced what many describe as a travelers nightmare: my passport was pick - pocketed while I was in a local marketplace. Yeah. And while that may seem like a god awful thing, the upside to this is that it gave me a chance to skip classes and go to Seoul during the day time (as well as see the American Embassy in all its splendor), which turned out to be a beautiful, fascinating, and enlightening experience. Life is all about looking at the upside of things after all.

So at 7 in the morning I headed to the American Embassy, located at the Gwanghwamun stop in the government sector of Seoul. Now, I'm not quite sure how many of you have been to an American Embassy in another country, so let me tell you about it. Here is an exterior shot of it:

Going inside the American Embassy is like a fantastic secret club that only Americans can get into. Ultimately once you flash your Passport or license, you get unlimited access to their spa, free massage room, jacuzzi, bathhouse, restaurant and bar. They also have a great fitness center for those looking to drop that extra pound or two; you know, shed some weight for the Korean babes.

Well, at least that's what it should be like.

Yeah, I know that you're jaw dropped at the news. Mine too. Its not like that at all! Who knew, right?
I walk into the embassy and was stripped of my camera and phone, and anything else electronic (and thus was unable to take a photo of the inside) they could find. Inside it's much like the DMV; you get a number and go to the booth that you're called to. What a disappointment! Most importantly though, I successfully managed to get a new passport sent to the school I will be working at. Now had the afternoon to myself!

So when I go outside and turn to the left, what should I see but part of the jazz districtof Seoul, a jazz cafe complete with stage, auditorium, and lounge area. JACKPOT! Here's some interesting shots:





























What I find most interesting is the fantastic setup of
the audience with couches (as seen at right).











Now realizing that I still have the rest of the day free, I take a stroll outside and GUAH! What do I see? A KOREAN PEACE RALLY! A young bunch of ruffians are expressing their extreme distaste for the current Korean president, as apparently the majority of Koreans ages 20 - 30 do not support the President. My camera was running low I used my phone so I apologize for the poor quality. The photo on the left contains the protesters (with signs, and next to me was a few people with megaphones, etc.), and not 30 feet away was members of the Korean military, armed with shields and sticks, in ready attack position. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I decided not to stick around to find out. I have better adventures to attend to.



Afterwards I took the subway to the Hongik area near Hongik University (coincidence? I think not!). There I discovered a beautiful indoor/outdoor art gallery which I present to you now!


















Inside I found a closed room containing slaves who are being forced to paint for money!
No I'm just kidding haha. But seriously, the paintings that these students are creatinge are for their architecture, design, and fashion university that is located nearby called Hongik University. Here, students are hard at work (as you can see through the window of the door to the far right) finishing portraits, painting canvases, and creating designs.



I believe the most interesting of all the paintings I found was this one (as seen to the immediate right).
Frankly, its trippy.


Not only is it a fascinatingly built school (specifically on the inside, with its utter simplicity (my camera died but I snapped a few pictures with my camera phone that will hopefully serve the purpose), it is also a hotspot late at night that is filled with young international students and live music from the blues to Korean pop. It is only a matter of time before I get my groove on here, and blow the crowd away with my newfound breakdance moves.

Oh...did I forget to mention that? Yeahhh...must have slipped my minnndd... Don't know how that could have happened hehe. I'll get to that in just a moment though

Getting back to the Hongik University. I apologize for the poor quality of the photos but it was taken with my phone camera so as to be able to at least record it. Left is the main entrance of the school, a huge archway overlaying the main street in the Hongik area.

The next 2 pictures reminds me of an important point. One of the things that I have noticed in Korea is the extreme materialism. South Korea, in its attempt to imitate Western and American fashion, styles, and culture, has created a generation of people who have become extremely concerned with their appearances, visible in many different facets of the culture. Don't get me wrong, this is not to say that America is not a materialistic country as well. However, its prominence in Korean society can be found in the overarching amount of stores everywhere related to clothes, makeup, design, etc.. These stores are bustling all the time!

Even moreso, the programs on TV illustrate another aspect of the culture which to me spells materialism. They eminate a scary similarity to our own reality TV shows, but contain characters that who are less diverse, and prizes that focus around money, women, and many materialistic objects (cars, clothes, etc.). Once again, I am not saying that this is not present in American society, because without a doubt I know that it is. Instead the fact that it is so prevelant here to me is just a point which struck me quite sharply. I believe that it is simply more evident because there is such a strong desire to Westernize that it has resulted in Korea adopting the most superficial aspects of our own society, as they are the easiest to eminate. The pictures below are what made me begin to think about this concept. It is in regards to the fact that there are mirrors in Korea everywhere!

Now the mirrors. I'm not talking about small ones (they have that too, and everywhere at that). I'm talking about big ones; in the subway cars, the elevators, the bathrooms (the stalls too), showers, floors, ceilings, on some phones, etc. People are constantly checking themselves out;adjusting things, etc. Seeing these mirros so often made me begin to think about these thoughts. So how does this all relate to Hongik University? From the minute I walked into Hongik University, it was like M.C. Escher's "House of Stairs".

Despite being a design institute, it lacked the design the my mind equates with that word. The university was simplistic: Straight, undecorated halls, plain numbered doors, and an endless staircase. I walked into the elevator and I entered an endless vortex of mirrors that made me blink twice (seen below). The only door that had anything of interest on it besides a number was this one (bottom right).



Here are the endless stairs that fade into oblivion. I spit down this puppy and never saw my loogie hit the ground.
Oh dear.

Moving on (as it was getting late), I decided to head back into the town and take a few more pictures of just some things I found interesting; venues, bars (I walked into a bar that was playing some great classic rock and roll), buildings, and a dog that had quite possibly the longest tongue to body ratio I've ever seen (it stretches probably another two inches when fully extended).

Dog Tongue


Here are some of the more classic rock and roll venues, etc. Particularly take note of the title of the picture on the left, Shooters and Cocks...
Sorry that was just too good to miss.



Not sure if you can make this out, but there is a drumset, bass, guitar, and singer here rocking out



I made my way back to the subway and waited. The wait wasn't long, as Korea has one of the best transportation systems out there; you can get just about anywhere you need to for very cheap. Now, anyone who has spoken to me about public transportation knows that I love the NYC subway system; it gets you where you need to go, fast and furious baby. However, there are two differences between the New York and Korean Subway systems.:
First is something that I noticed on the way into Seoul, in the morning. I have never seen so many people going into an all out sprint before. The minute the subway door opened, they were off. It was like a marathon! I could barely keep up; they were off and going for their transfers or their cabs or their destinations, but wherever they were going they were going fast. Don't see that in New York. Hoochie Mama!



The second main difference that I saw is the extreme organization and rules that make this system function so well. Whereas in New York people clump out of the subways and pile in as quick as they can, here there are lines for elders, a spot for normal pedestrians going both in and out. People line up just as you would wait at the grocery store; it is all labeled with arrows and symbols. I caught a quick picture of it on my camera (below).


The arrow facing down is for the people exiting, the arrow facing up to the left is for normal pedestrians going into the subway and the one on the right (which has a handicapped symbol that you can't really see) is for elders and older men and women. The minute the train stops, our little pedestrian "trains" starts moving, quickly and efficiently.

Waiting on the train (approx. a 1.5 - 2 hr journey) I was forced to stand the entire time as there were so many people on their way home from work. There I met a woman on the subway named Sun Hyun Lee, who spoke to me about her love for english culture and america. We spoke so much that we both missed our stop and had to turn around. Don't have a picture of her but just want to make a note of what an awesome person she was.

As this is an extremely long entry (trying to put everything in), I will split the rest into another entry (which I am finishing shortly!). Sorry to end so abruptly, I'll keep 'em comin.

Tell me your comments! (toilet story is in the next one heheh)

Some other pictures:

Another picture of the outdoor gallery:


Below: My Texan Friend Caleb looking delicious, and to his right a bustlin' street during the daytime



Below: (Left: Two bald guys sitting next to each other on the bus,
Right: A broken camera screen that I thought created an interesting design)



Now...Ready for some wierdness?
My Australian's friend's neck! (Below)




Oh, and before I forget. A special note to Albert Brontolo: You bum...you haven't looked at my Blog. Major points lost there my friend.

The next entry will be up by tomorrow!

Annyeung Kasayo!

My First Week in South Korea

Greetings everyone! Annyeung Haseo!

If you are here and reading this it means that you want me. Bad. Although, that kind of goes without saying. If that not be the case, you should quietly navigate yourself away from this page.
Now that that's out of the way, let gets to business.

I am living in a small village composed mainly of straw huts, about 40 cubic feet each. I have 3 roomates each of whom does not know the definition of bodily hygiene or the word deodorant. We eat kimchi all day and have to catch our own dinners with a pole and string intended to be used as a fishing pole (provided for us by the government). This is my house below.Yes, it is truly a paradise.

Ok, so if that happens to be your impression of what South Korea is like, you might as well pack your things and go head out with the non - Neal - lovers; because that's ludicrous. In fact, maybe you should just stay so I can set the record straight.

In actuality, I'm residing in a beautiful government facility located in Yongin, approx. an hour away from Seoul in the countryside. Here is the view from my window (as seen to the right).
Here we TaLK (Teach and Learn Korean (this is the program I am here with, run by the Korean Embassy)) scholars are assembled in order to better acquaint ourselves with the vast cultural differences that exist between our culture and theirs, as well as learning styles and methods for teaching English to elementary school children.


For instance, did you know that if an elder person offers you an alcoholic beverage, you are required to turn to the left and THEN drink it. Or, for example, there should be no socializing in resteraunts; you are expected to sit, eat, and then immediately leave.

Other classes provide us with sample lesson plans by Education professors, guest lecturers, and elementary school teachers from rural areas of South Korea similar to where we will be. They teach well and provide great information.

As I have much to say I will try to be brief about the events other than this.

Void of this, the opening ceremonies by the program were fantastic. As I did not have my camera I cannot provide pictures, but I will paint a picture with words as best as I can. The opening act was the Angel Voice choir, a group 10 elementary school children who sang tradition Korean songs in perfect harmony with each other. The second act consisted of what I would describe as a tribal drum dance, choreographed with intricate hand motions while chanting gang vocals in complicated rhythms. The drums were deep bass drums that echoed throughout the theatre. Third went on what I can only describe as the equivalent of the Korean Three Tenors, except they all sounded EXACTLY the same. After that went on a solo violinist from the Korean military, playing a beautiful rendition of the classical piece Chardin, by Montini, backed up by a string quartet and a piano. Next (Yes, there is still more!) went on a kayagum (as seen at right) quartet playing arrangements of the Beatles' "Let It Be" and "Hey Jude". I'd say the most interesting part of this act was when the audience broke out into quiet song at the "Na na na na's" in "Hey Jude". Next to last was a magical act performed by another Korean soldier, however nothing mind blowing. What follow was truly applicable to the saying "Save the best for last". Emerging from the back of the audience was a fully traditionally dressed group of Koreans holding a variety of interesting musical instruments. What was most fascinating however was their hats, which had poles coming out of them with streamers attached to them (seen below). This applies to each individual except for the head Korean, whose pole had feathers attached arranged almost like the tail of an ostrich or turkey. While doing a funky dance, they would move their heads (almost like bobblehead dolls) in order to make te streamers and feathers float around them in such an incredible synchronized manner that it was hard to take ones eyes off of them. All the while they were creating difficult rhythms and awesome beats that made one's foot tap uncontrollably in a fit of ecstasy. This performance ended with a conglomeration of beats and rhythms circulating around one of the dancers who while break dancing (yes...actually break dancing; six step, windmill, body freezes, etc.), bobbled his head in such a fashion that the streamer circulated around him in both wild squiggles and elegant formations. It was truly a sight to behold. The event ended with congratulatory remarks from a few choice members of the TaLK program and then a fantastic dinner comprised everything from sushi, prized meats, fish, mussels, oysters, ridiculous salads, wonderful desserts, delicious soups, fruit, cakes, chicken, pork, kimchi, beef, etc. I emerged from that assortment of food with 3 plates , two bowls of soup, and dessert. It was only topped off by the fact that there was karoake and movies during the dinner to top it off.

Hoochie Mama that was good.

The last part of this post that I will put is my first trip into Seoul, which just occurred this past weekend. It began by going to the Blue House (The equivalent of the Korean White House, where the president lives). It was quite interesting but unfortunately were not allowed inside as there is extremely tight security. We took a walking tour around the area and were shown the beautiful gardens that were created for the President and his royal guests. Here is the presidents house, as well as our entire group in front of the Royal Guest House.













From here we went to Insadong, a popular shopping
area in Seoul where we were left on our own for the
rest of the weekend to do what we wished.
Not surprising, but there was anime graffiti present
everywhere (as seen to the right).


What particularly caught my eye was the brilliance of some of the other graffiti; it was beautiful! Here are a few picture of them:















Below is what a typical Korean lunch looks like, which consists of kimchi, soup, radishes, usually a meat of some kind, and of course, rice. This particular meal to the farthest left is basically just soup, but it stems from there.
The food farthest below consists of live fluke (top right in the picture), sea urchin (the wormy things), flounder (top right), and I'm not quite sure about the other. You choose which one you want, and they take it and chop it up for you. I guess it doesn't get fresher then that!











Above (on the right) is just some typical street food. MMMMM...Corn dogs, deep fried red bean paste, eggs, rice cakes, etc. YEAH BABY (I'm learning to expand my tastes).

Lastly, my party night in Seoul that began with some iniatory Soju (just about the most common Korean alcoholic beverage) and ended in a billiard hall left me at a Korean bathhouse. Here for about 10,000 Won (the equivalent of 8 dollars or so) you have a floor to sleep on, jacuzzi, showers, breakfast (in some), towels, toothbrushes, etc. all provided for you. Inside it is extremely hot and you really don't need a blanket, and you can stay there for an entire day for as long as you want. It is essentially a nice spa that you can stay it. It is actually illegal to take photos in there, but I managed to snag one identifying what the sleeping room is like:







(Through the lit door on the top right is a smoking room with tables set up to play what is sort of like Korean chess.)




Here I slept fantastically and woke up to a warm atmosphere, jacuzzis, and sunlight. I then scoured Seoul for a music store, bought a cheap guitar, and made my way back to Yongin. What a voyage!

I'll my description of the first week with a few interesting pictures until the next post! Anyeung Gaseyo (goodbye)!

(Below: Beautiful window outside Seoul University)














(Below: Kind of an interesting bench, no?















(Left: This ostrich like animal was in a COFFEEHOUSE...








(Below: cool brick wall divide from 3 floors up in the market)